So… Dad passed away. After two weeks of being in the ICU, I lost him. We lost him. He was intubated & in an artificial coma, from which he never woke up. I didn’t get to have a last conversation with him. I don’t even remember what my last conversation with him was about… I’m not much of a talker anyways… more of a listener.
It was a very long two weeks of our lives. He’d not been keeping well & in his wisdom, decided not to tell any one of us. WHY ?
My youngest went home to see him after coming home from a short holiday & realized that the situation wasn’t good. It warranted attention. They took him to Jaslok, did the paperwork & were preparing to shift him to the room… when his condition worsened. They took him to the ICU directly. Just like that…it was the beginning of the end.
It’d been a bi-annual ritual at least…him falling ill and getting admitted, being put on steroids and then recovering, regaining his strength and getting discharged. It was a typical cycle of good…bad…worse…better…good…bad…worse. I figured he’d come out of it like any of the previous times.
I was wrong.
My sisters kept watch for the first week and I landed up in the second.
It was futile. He wasn't meant to come out of his coma.
It was the most mind numbing stressful week of my life. Ever.
Doctor said - have patience. Wait and watch. We’re monitoring his situation very closely… and they were.
I spent a lot of time on the phone with my wife, my sisters - giving them updates - which was precious little.
I still remember the last day... I'd gone for a short walk/run in the morning, with a friend. 40-45 mins of walk-run alone had woken me up properly. She'd dropped me back at the hospital and i'd gone and had a little bit to eat. I'd actually lost my appetite and was living on sandwich and poha for the past few days. Same thing for that day too.
But, i was very restless that day.
I'd gone and seen him in the morning, had a bite and then was roaming the corridors restlessly. I'd even stepped out for a bit in the afternoon and just walked and walked. Came back to hospital... shot off some analysis to the office, which was due. Then went out again to walk... get a bit of air. It didn't matter that it was raining intermittently, i still walked. Thousand things going through my mind...
My friend texted me, said there was another friend of hers at the same hospital (her sister was admitted), and suggested that i meet and talk to her. It would divert my mind for a bit... it would help me. But, i just didn't want to meet anyone. I went out for a walk again...I realized much much later that i'd been walking for over 6 hours that day...
Came back to the hospital...and finally decided to text the other friend and met her for a few minutes. It did divert my mind... but only for a bit.
By this time it was dinner time. I had a sandwich or something and while i was eating they called me from the ICU. I went up and they said that his condition was worsening...
They said - he won't last the night.
An hour later - he was gone.
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