People leave

Updated: Dec 12, 2020

So...A few days ago, i read somewhere - "People leave. You will too."

I was upset. Very upset.

But, i thought about it. Really sat and thought about it.

It's true...to an extent.

I have not been constant in anyone's life. I haven't been around forever with anyone. I haven't really experienced the highs and lows of a person's life. Not truly experienced it. Never walked a mile in anyone's shoes.

I have been around people. Shared their highs and lows. Shared a few moments of joy. Even fewer moments of sadness. I did try to lend an ear, whenever i could. I don't know if i was successful in alleviating their sadness, their despair, their heartbreak, by even an iota.

But i wasn't really with them.

They cried from afar. I listened - hoping to hug them, wanting to hug them, needing to hug them. But, i wasn't really there for them. Next to them. Beside them. Standing by them.

I didn't really share their pain. Maybe i tried to...unsuccessfully.

They turned to me for something - for comfort, for guidance, or maybe just to share, or maybe for something else, for an underlying cause, which they weren't sure of themselves.

They vented out their anguish and what did i do - give advice, give suggestions, quote scripture ? Mere platitudes for the person who was dying inside. What did i really do to help them ?

One day...they left, or maybe... i left.

Is there a difference ?

Did i leave ? Or did i take a step back ?

Or did i just watch from afar ? Maybe i still watch from afar.. still thinking of them.

Or did i not try enough ? Did i just give up ? Did i not want to face the reality ?

Was i selfish ? Am i still selfish ?

We stopped talking. We stopped sharing. We stopped being in each other's lives. We just ended.

But did we end...? End...is final.

Who knows what the end is ? I hope it's not the end. I hope there is some spark...somewhere in there which is smouldering ... waiting for a breath of air ... for it to rekindle.

Who knows what the future holds ? If only we could peep into the next few days, weeks, months...

Who knows ... on which turn in life...one rainy day, i bump into them again. Or maybe, they'll bump into me.

Or will they just look out at me from across the chasm and avert their eyes...glance down and walk away ? A silent rejection of the time we shared..of a bond now forgotten and buried under painful memories.

Or will their eyes shine with brightness and have a come hither look ?

Will it be the same ? Will the years of separation show ? Will the distance manifest itself - in an awkward shake of the hand or a half hug ?

Will they still trust me - to share...anything. I don't know. We don't know. I hope so.